


I never stopped

by Houseofmalfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:53:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22073572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Houseofmalfoy/pseuds/Houseofmalfoy
Summary: "When exactly did you stop loving me through all of this?"Written for a prompt by luciusmalfoyimagines on tumblr
Relationships: Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	I never stopped

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [I never stopped — Я и не переставала](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22172068) by [synant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/synant/pseuds/synant)



> Warning for a very brief mention of pregnancy loss.

They hadn’t spoken more than a few words to each other since it all ended.

Nothing more than  _ good mornings _ and  _ good nights _ ;  _ more wine? _ and  _ yes of course _ .

It was killing Narcissa.

It had been alright when Draco was living with them still, and they’d been able to direct their attention entirely to him but now that he’d moved out there was nothing left.

Narcissa looked at her husband — he was healing still from his time in azkaban but he was beginning to look better. His hair not in as bad a state it had been during the war, she hadn’t asked about it but she was certain Lucius was glad about it. His hair always had been his pride.

They were sitting in the sun room together, surrounded by windows that looked out over the magnificent gardens of Malfoy Manor. In Narcissa’s opinion one of the very few rooms in the house that had not been tainted by the war. The death eaters had stayed out of the main gardens. Mostly.

In her mind there was always a disconnect between the death eaters that had made her home a living hell, and her husband. 

She didn’t look away from him when eventually Lucius raised his head and looked surprised to meet her eyes. He nearly did look away from her when he realised.

It saddened her greatly this was the most intimate moment they’d shared since the war.

Narcissa nodded her head in question to a bottle of wine — unopened still — standing at the side table in between their chairs. Lucius nodded. It was barely noon yet but the connection between time and alcohol had long ceased to matter.

She reached for her wand and two glasses appeared, without her interference they were filled and she smiled carefully when she handed Lucius one of them. 

They didn’t look at each other again.

Narcissa’s glass was nearly empty when Lucius said something for the first time that day. She’d half expected it to be ‘more wine?’ and was about ready to respond with ‘yes, of course’ when he instead raised another question. 

“When exactly did you stop loving me during all of this?”

It hurt to hear him voice that thought — even if it had crossed her mind more than once that it had been the other way around. It stung.

Narcissa was well aware they were far from the overly happy, over-their-ears in love pair they had been before. They weren’t the same couple they had been when they first married, how could they be? They weren’t the same people.

But she loved him so.

She’d loved Lucius when they were seventeen years old and shared a first kiss under loud cheers in the slytherin common room; loved him when she’d made her way down the aisle at their wedding day and he’d looked at her as if she was the most radiant being to have ever existed.

Narcissa had loved him all through the first war; through the loss of their first two babies and through the indescribable fear of losing him to azkaban after it ended the first time. 

The second war had done it’s fair share of tearing them apart and he was all too right nothing was the same anymore, she’d distanced herself and so had he. It was easier to grow apart than to face what had happened to them, easier to ignore the trauma it had brought them even if that meant not being able to fall back on the one person she’d always known to be there for her no matter what.

Despite herself Narcissa’s lip began to tremble and when she looked up at her husband he was looking at her with concern — not to mention the hurt in his eyes that was so obvious it only caused her more pain.

What had happened to them?

Why in Merlin’s name hadn’t they stopped it?

She placed her hand on top of Lucius’ and shook her head. They’d been going downhill for a long time but Narcissa couldn’t bear to think of her husband honestly feeling as if she no longer loved him. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Her words wouldn’t fix this. Not instantly. But perhaps they could be a start. 

Narcissa prayed to any god that might listen to her that it could be a start. 

“I never stopped, darling... I doubt I ever will.”

  
  
  
  



End file.
